The Real TriWizard 3rd Task
by Leaping Lion
Summary: What really happened when Cedric, Fleur, Krum, and Harry went into the maze... Did Cedric really die? Did Voldemort really rise from the dead? Come closer and see for yourself! Parody/Humor. Totally AU


The great sounds of the Hogwarts orchestra blared at everyone sitting at the stands. Several were holding their heads and covering their ears trying to not go deaf. The 3rd and final task of the Tri-Wizard Tournament was about to begin and all the competitors were getting ready in front of the Giant Maze (Of Dhoom but the competitors don't know that…).

Fleur was combing her hair and putting on make-up, best she charm her way through her challenges.  
Krum was flexing his muscles, watching as the girls watching feinted in excitement. Yes, this would do nicely…  
Diggory was actually stretching and practicing spells, like a normal wizard… not many of those here…

Harry Potter… was sitting in a lawn chair drinking a Virgin Margareta with those cool little umbrellas.

Albus Dumbledore stood astride Harry and looked at those in the strands. "You have to be ruthless Harry! You must win this cup; otherwise my grand scheme of things will be useless!!"

Harry looked up and smiled before he vanished the chair and drink with the little umbrella. "Of course Headmaster, I will do whatever it takes to win that cup for you. Your master plan, which I know nothing about of course, will be perfect!"

Albus smiled and went back to looking like he knew everything.

The Minister stood up and smiled before sticking his wand to his throat and saying the words with would make his sounds really loud.

"Today… is a great day! We shall see our amazing students make their way through this amazing maze and see who will find the Cup!" Cheers filled the small area and everyone started yelling out names of those who they thought would win.

"Alright! Competitors to your stations!" The students walked over to their respectable starting areas and got ready to enter.

"Ready!" Krum flexed once more, to the best of his ability.

"Set!" Fleur fluttered her eye lashes.

"I mean it!" Diggory and Harry looked into the Maze (of Dhoom) with apprehension.

"GO!"

Off they went, starting their great race. The Maze closed up quickly behind them and everyone started to converse till a cough brought them back.

"Um... Headmaster… My maze doesn't... go anywhere…" Harry Potter's voice rang through the clearing.

"What do you mean Mister Potter?"

"There is a… wall of shrubbery in my way like a foot into the maze. I can't see any way out and the thorns in this bush look scary."

Albus snapped out of his fairy tale world and gave a shaky laugh. "Oh, haha, I forgot that one was fake. Was so post to be Fleur's one... opps." He quickly snapped his finger twice and smiled. "That should be better."

"Thank you Headmaster. I'll just go… win that cup thing…"

X-X-X-X-X

Cedric Diggory panted as he made his way through the confusing maze. Everywhere he turned, he ran into a wall or an obstacle he didn't know how to get past.

Suddenly, he turned down a hallway and noticed how silent it was. He stopped and looked around, hoping it wasn't a trap. He silently made his way down the hallway, ready for any attack.

"BOO!" Cedric jumped with a yelp and turned his wand toward the person.

Harry Potter was clutching his sides as he laughed.

"Oh—Oh my God. You should have seen (Hahah!) The way you… You looked. Oh Merlin, You looked so freakin' scared. (Haha!)" Harry doubled over again in another burst of laughter.

"P-Potter! What the hell are you doing!? I could have killed you!" Cedric glared at Harry and tried to get his point across by waving his wand in front of their faces.

"Oh please, as if that would have happened! I just wanted to have some fun. Not like I want this bloody cup anyway.

But man, you should have come earlier and see Krum's face! I popped out from behind a shrub and man did he shriek! I thought he was Fleur at first. Course, when I went to look I noticed his manly physic and noticed it was Krum." Harry pointed behind him at the now present body lying on the ground. "He was all white and pale, not a good completion on him. I check him over and he was kinda dead… I think he had a heart attack!" Harry smiled over his smart deduction.

Cedric's eye twitched and he looked back at Harry, "Potter, you-" He couldn't finish his sentence though because Harry pulled him behind the shrub and started to 'shhh' him.

"Quiet! Here comes Fleur!!" Harry snickered and got into his pouncing position. Moments later, harry popped up and screamed 'boo' once more.

However, not to his satisfaction, she didn't shriek or scream or look at him in terror. She looked at him with a very bored expression and said in the most even tone possible. "I thought I taught you better Potter…" and with that, she walked off into the fog.

Only to come running back seconds later with leaves in her hair. "That's it, I quit. My hairs ruined and the sphinx from earlier didn't like me and said I was too pretty."

Harry let out a shriek of his own and shot off a fire spell in Fleur's direction. The flame caught on the leaves and slowly, but surely, started to burn at the shrub.

"God Fleur!! Don't scare me like that! I could have killed you!" Harry glared at them and started to dust off his robes.

Smoke suddenly covered their vision.

"What did you do Potter!" Fleur and Cedric coughed out and waved at the smoke in their eyes.

"I didn't mean to! I swear, it's not my fault!!" Panic was evident in Potter's voice and as soon as the dust cleared they noticed how cheery the air had gone and the feeling of 'I'm in a scary maze, o my god' went away.

"POTTER YOU DID NOT JUST BURN DOWN THE MAZE!"

"Your right I didn't!! The flame did!!" Harry grinned and clapped his hands together. "I'm so glad we agree with that opinion!"

"The CUP!!" Cedric yelled out and pointed in the direction of the still slightly burning maze.

Harry and Cedric exchanged glances and then they were off!

"I'm going to get there first Cedric, and I'm going to have all that money to myself!! I'm going to buy some nice cloth first after this! I'm going to be amazing!!"

"I thought you didn't want the cup, Potter! You said you just wanted to have fun! OUCH, stop pushing me!"

"I lied, it was to –OH GOD NOT THE HAIR- make you think I'm not a threat –THE HAIR, I SAID NOT THE HAIR!"

They both stumbled into the clearing and stared each other down before they both jumped for the cup.

X-X-X-X-X

The both also stumbled to the ground in the graveyard the cup had port-keyed them to.

"God damn Potter, now I'm all dir-"

He once again didn't have the chance to finish as Potter grabbed him and stood him in front of him.

"Potter what are you-"

That was the last time Cedric got cut off as a bright green light hit him in the chest and he fell to the ground right next to a cauldron.

Harry looked at Cedric and sighed, "I swear… I thought he was my mirror…"

"Harry Potter!" A voice creaked across the clearing with the mysterious cauldron.

"Oh god, not again Wormtail. I thought we agreed to talk normally around each other. You promised over twice-baked potatoes, remember!! Don't you dare break the Tater Treaty!" Harry shook his head and looked at the cauldron. "What's in here anyway?"

Wormtail looked at Harry with a sigh and walked over and dumped his burden into the bubbly mucus like water. "It's so post to be a way to resurrect our Lord Voldemort."

He then proceeded to drop in a bone from a nearby grave and cut off his hand, which made harry wince. That poor hand…

"I need your blood." Wormtail said and looked at Harry's left arm. "Forcibly taken of course, can't ever do things the nice and easy way…"

Harry rolled his eyes and said in a dull tone, "Oh no, not my blood." Harry slowly raised his arm and beckoned Wormtail to him and pointed at his now hovering arm, "Whatever shall I do if he forcibly takes my blood! I may die from blood loss and –OUCH, not so hard- You done yet?"

Wormtail nodded and threw the knife into the mixture.

Suddenly a man was man inside the cauldron and let out a diabolical laugh. "I am alive once again!!"

"Can I go now, this place stinks."Harry whined and looked on in boredom.

Voldemort looked at Harry and his eye twitched, "Why isn't he tied up Wormtail, and why isn't he in agony or pain or… other evil things!?"

"The Tater Treaty, milord. We're buddies cuz we shared twice-baked potatoes once…" Wormtail then suddenly went off into his own little fantasy world muttering something about taters and Sméagol.

"You're not against me anymore Potter?" Voldemort rubbed his hands together, already planning way to use this against Dumbledore.

"I'm kind of… playing both sides."

Voldemort looked at him and signed before he grabbed Wormtail's left arm and pressed his wand to a pretty tattoo of a snake and a skull.

"To me, Mad-Eye Moody!"

In a second, Mad-Eye Moody popped into existence on his knees and bowing to Lord Voldemort.

"Milord, what may I do for you- Potter!" He suddenly got up and launched himself at the Boy-Who-Lived-To –Do-Things- Unpredictably.

However, just as he launched himself, his polyjuice ran out and he transformed back into his real form.

"Harry Potter, do you know who this is?" Voldemort said as he walked over the unconscious figure.

"IT'S DOCTOR WHO!"

"…What?"

"  
You know!! Doctor Who, the dude that…travels in…. You don't know do you…"Harry let out a sigh and walked over to the figure. He lightly kicked him and then sighed again, "This is such a letdown, and he was my greatest hero…"

Voldemort walked over to the dead Cedric Diggory and moved his face with his foot and had to jump back when the figure sat up quickly.

"OMG EWW, HIS FOOT WAS ON MY FACE!"

Harry looked over at Voldemort and raised an eyebrow. An opposite eyebrow was returned and Harry walked over to Cedric.

"Come on Cedric, let's get going. Nothing to see here…" Harry quickly grabbed the cup before anyone could say anything and the Port-key took them back to the start of the maze.

A sudden bout of cheering, and they were surrounded by people.

"What was the maze like?" "Was it scary?" "I bet you fought the hardest!" "Where's Fleur?" "You look really tired; did you have a rough time?" "Where's Krum?" "Let me get you something to drink." "Oh ew, you need a wash!"

But one and only one question made Harry pause and look at the person.

"Where's the cup?"

Harry answered.

"THE CUP IS A LIE!!"

X-X-X-X-X

Ha-ha, well ABC decided to play the Harry Potter movies over and over and over again and I couldn't help by laugh at come up with these little idea's that made my watching experience.

There are 3 little things in this that aren't from Harry Potter at all. If you can tell me these things I will give you a cookie and dedicate my next little one-shot to you.

ENJOY!!


End file.
